“One Game-Changing Secret to Your Well-Being”

My Heroes Have Always been…

In 2020 the Men in the Arena Podcast was downloaded in 122 nations, which is a miracle considering the minuscule launch of our ministry with 15 men meeting in a coffee shop in our small town of McMinnville, Oregon.
          When I reflect on those days filled with faith, fear, and facing new adventure, I remember several older men who were mentors and confidants. I have great memories with best-selling Christian authors, Stu Weber and Bill Perkins. I am blessed by entrepreneurs and businessmen John Strasheim, founder of Bowtech Archery, and Keith Sherman, founder of Sherman Brothers Trucking who poured countless hours into me. I think of my Board Chair, Mike Goins, and his four decades of experience as CFO for four universities across the nation. He continues to make his impact.
          The bottom line is if it weren’t for the guidance, direction, and advice from these more experienced men, Men in the Arena would look much different than it does today if it would exist at all!

A Better Man

This week’s Men in the Arena Podcast episode is with BetterMan CEO, Tom Wilson. At 73 years old, Tom brings five decades of direct ministry experience with Young Life, Bob Buford’s, Leadership Network, and most recently with Robert Lewis, and BetterMan. It was an honor to interview him about BetterMan's partnership with Barna and, their Five Essentials to Engage Today’s Men. In it, they surveyed 1,593 American men, 1,000 of which were “practicing” Christians, and 593 from among the general population identified as either non-practicing or non-Christian.
          To admit that this survey was alarming would be an understatement. I was initially appalled at how far “practicing” Christians have fallen away from Biblical truth.

The Bible says it, that’s Settles It? Hard Pass.

For example, only 37% of “practicing” Christian men under 35 think sex before marriage is a sin, and only 50% for “practicing” Christian men over 35 do!
          But 1 Corinthians 6:18 and many other verses are clear: “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.”
          Even more unbelievable, 33% of single “practicing” Christian men under 35 are living with their girlfriend, a percentage which is EQUAL to that of non-Christian men! To compound things further, only 42% of practicing Christian men under 35 believe homosexuality is a sin and only 54% of older practicing Christian men believe this! I wonder what Bible “practicing” Christian men are reading?
          Clearly, not mine.
          We need to redefine what a PRACTICING Christian man looks like because it is obvious that “practicing” Christian men aren’t practicing Biblical obedience.

Price of Admission: The Secret to a Man’s Well-Being
But once I picked myself off the floor at the shock of how obeying the Bible is (statistically) only optional for “practicing” Christian men, I was encouraged by what I learned next.
          The connection between man’s well-being and having a confidant or intergenerational friendship was massive!
          Christian men with a confidant or older mentor are more than twice as satisfied in their marriages, relationships with their children, and friendships than those who don’t. In other words, having either a trusted Christian confidant as a friend, or elder statesman as a mentor, or both, are statistically life-changing!
          If you want to have a full and healthy life the equation is simple. Find a confidant or older mentor, or both!

Boots on the Ground

The obvious answer is to invest y our life in a man who will be your trusted brother or confidant. This is the man you can call at 2:00 am in an emergency. This is the man who will not condemn you despite your struggles with the darkest of sins.
          If you cannot find this man, then find an older man in your church who you highly respect and invite him into your life. Let him guide, encourage and exhort you with his wisdom and experience.
          What if you don’t go to church? Well, you know my answer to that question! When you get it—everyone wins.

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