Aug 28, 2020
3 Things Men Must Do to Become Their Best Version
The Manhood Journey
This week we highlight the interview with my friend, Kent Evans. Kent is the founder of a great ministry for fathers and sons called The Manhood Journey where fathers are specifically equipped to lead their sons from childhood into adulthood. We spent the lion’s share of our time discussing a book he wrote about mentors that impacted his life appropriately titled, Wise Guys.
Where Manhood Journey equips fathers, Wise Guys chronicles impactful men in Kent’s life and what he learned from each. My favorite quote from the book was not about mentoring but fathering. Kent wrote, “My kids may or may not acknowledge that I was the best father they could’ve had—but I’d love for them to acknowledge that I was the best father I knew how to be.”
All we can give those we love is the best we have to offer, which is different for every different man. Jocko Willink with Eschelon Front posted a recent meme that said, “All you can give is all that you’ve got.”
So true in life, marriage, and fathering. Here are three things every man who wants to be his best version should implement asap.
Social media is packed with self-promoting men and women with no other goal than to increase the people who follow them or grow their businesses—it is completely self-serving. I am embarrassed by the compromising things young ladies post to get the attention of men who they do not know, like, or will ever meet.
By “climbing down” Kent meant to repent of pride, climb down from our high horse and grow in humility.
In imitating Jesus, the Bible calls us to the anthesis: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
I love what C. S. Lewis wrote about humility, “Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less.” Ask for help. Look for ways to serve. Repent of your selfishness. Think less of yourself and more about others.
Imagine how your life would be different if you followed the above quotes to the letter?
Determine the Gaps
I’ll go first. We are almost done with an assessment that will reach millions over my lifetime of men called the BVOAM. The BVOAM (Best Version of a Man) combines the five essentials of manhood in all our resources with the 20 Qualifications of a spiritual leader best described in Gene Getz’s book, The Measure of a Man, creating five major categories with four subcategories under each. Each subcategory has two assessing statements (40 total) that men can use to evaluate themselves, all available as a free download on our website.
In 18 months, my book will be done (tile TBD) with its ten assessing statements per subcategory (instead of the two online version) for a whopping total of 200 assessing statements with a 1,000-point possible score.
The goal is for men to be able to “determine the gaps” based on the Bible’s as well as Men in the Arena’s understanding of masculinity. Beyond that, men will be able to compare their scores with the average of all test takers. This will be a game-changer, but until then, what gaps do you have between who you are now and who you want to be?
In weightlifting, I will ask for a “spotter” when I am uncertain about my ability to do all the reps in a given set. The Spotter is there to protect me from my weakest points during a lift. Kent Evans calls these “Spot Helpers”. They are the men in our life who have the guts and strength to catch us before we slip up.
These are men we’ve invited into the regular routines of our life, and who have our back. Mostly that means, they are searching for weaknesses, blind spots, or guardrail breaches—anything that may lead to an enemy stronghold over us.
Boots on the Ground
The bottom line is this. Who will help us climb down, determine the gaps, and spot our weaknesses? Men, we all need to be in a small group with other men who have our back. Fall is the perfect time for you to start a team, join a team through your local church, or plug into one of our virtual (Zoom) teams.
Don’t wait for your life to fall apart before you act. Be proactive. Visit our website today and grab our free book. Consider how you will get out of the bleachers and into the arena.