4 Questions to Ask Before Marrying Your Girlfriend

Unicorns, Myths, and Soul Mates

How do you know the person you’re with is your person? How do you know if you’ve found your “soul mate”? Should you date a woman who is unequally yoked with you in her faith or believes something altogether different?

Many mistakenly believe some mystical soul mate is waiting for them in the land where unicorns graze, gold is waiting at the end of the rainbow, knights ride in with their shining armor, toads become princes, and oceanfront property is still available in Arizona!

But divorce rates among believers would beg to differ.

The Biblical truth is much less exciting than our Hollywood theology. Your soul mate is the one you choose to be with forever. So, as the Templar Knight guarding the Holy Grail in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade said after Indie selected the chalice, makes sure that “You have chosen—wisely.”

Choose Poorly. Choose Wisely. It is Your Choice.

Shanna is my soul mate simply because we chose each other and have been choosing each other—with no other options ever on the table—ever since. Our “happily ever after” has come with blood, sweat, and tears along with a lot of Jesus and stubbornness!

Here are the top questions you should ask to make a wise choice:

1. Are my standards as high for me as they are for her?
   If you don’t want your future bride to give her heart and body to everyone she pleases, maybe you shouldn’t either! Please listen to Episode 630 if you want to learn more.
   

2. Are we equally yoked?
   My favorite “Soul mate” verse is 2 Corinthians 6:14; “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with

   lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?”
   

3. Am I attracted to her?
   Do you love her heart? Do you love her values? What intangible qualities do you adore about her? Is she a person you enjoy, accept, and admire?
   

4. Do our values align?
   Over and over, we read that opposites may attract, but if our top values do not align, we will be in for a rocky road. Listen to my discussions with Jason Kartampatos if you want to take a deep plunge into the topic.

The Pot of Gold

I flesh out each of these four questions in this week’s Equipping Men in Ten.