Best Advice for a Successful Marriage - From a Couple Married for Half A Century
Serial Adulterers and Marriage
I spoke at a conference with a man who shocked me when he confessed to being a “serial adulterer” who recently repented, remarried, and was there to tell me how to make marriage work. Huh?
Another time I overheard one man telling an intently listening group of other men, “I just told my third wife that my kids were more important than her and if she didn’t like it, she could leave.”
That advice was shut down quick.
Are these two men who you want to give you marriage advice? I hope not. Do you want the best advice for marriage? Talk to a couple like Paul and Virginia Friesen, married 45 years, and the founders of Home Improvement Ministries. They have been serving in marriage ministry for 40 years now! You can trust them for excellent, time-proven, biblical advice.
They have written several books together, including The Marriage App, which was our topic on the Men in the Arena Podcast. We interviewed Paul back on Episode 297 about his book, Loving Your Wife Like Christ When You Ain’t No Jesus! It was outstanding!
First time for Everything
This was a special podcast episode for two reasons—Paul’s wife Virginia was on the show as our first female author to offer her excellent wisdom. Second, my wife of almost 30 years, Shanna, joined me as a fellow guinea pig in this podcast experiment. If you want to listen to a couple get raw—and real—I highly suggest you listen to this episode. We let it all hang out. It was a humbling and vulnerable opportunity.
We did this because the Friesen’s book, The Marriage App, is a play on words. At the end of each chapter, they give couples APPLICATION assignments.
After discussing each chapter, Shanna and I did every chapter application assignment live in studio. Like I said, it got raw and real.
The Greatest Marriage Advice is Here
It only took me eight chapters of highlighting the same quote over and over until I realized, “Huh, I think I have seen this before and, of course, it was a quote strategically placed at the end of each chapter. Paul and Virginia did this because they know how we are. I literally read it seven times before I realized I had read this before! The Marriage App could be summed up in this marriage changing statement.
Remember, Paul and Virginia have been in marriage ministry over 40 years and married for over 45. Do you think they put some thought into this next statement? Here it is:
“When we put our spouses needs above our own, not only do we they feel loved, but it will propel our marriage towards greater intimacy.”
I’m not letting you off the hook that easy. Get back up there and read it again! Where are you NOT putting your spouse’s needs above your own? Where do you need some “Home Improvement?” I confessed several of these areas to Shanna during the interview. Listen to my confession. It will embolden you to do the same and propel your marriage towards greater intimacy.
Boots on the Ground
Take your wife on a date and ask each other where you can grow in loving and serving each other. Then, do it.