Why Do You Do What You Do? - For Affirmation Addicts and Performance Junkies
Arena men, this week we were privileged to interview Greg Stoughton on the Men in the Arena Podcast. Greg is the author of Born Wrong, Made Right: Thinking Differently to Unleash Your Potential.
I’ve included my favorite quotes from his book here.
Greg was born with a rare genetic condition called, ectrodactyly—split hand, or cleft hand— which is the deficiency or absence of one or more central digits of the hand or foot and is also known as split hand or split foot malformation.
Greg could have chosen to be a victim, instead he swung the other way and became a high achieving performance junkie:“I’d turned toward achievements to earn praise and prove my worth. I’d been building my identity on a shaky foundation—performance.”
A successful businessman was racing his Lamborghini down California’s winding Pacific Coast Highway (101), when he lost control, sending his car over the edge. He was launched from the tumbling vehicle, severing his left arm at the elbow. People arrived at the scene to his screams, “My Lambo, my Lambo!”
Pointing to his bloody stump, a Good Samaritan said, “Forget your car buddy, we need to get you to the hospital ASAP! Or you’re gonna die!”
Staring down at what once was his arm, the man screamed louder, “My Rolex! My Rolex!”
The poor guy had his priorities all screwed up. Sadly, he isn’t much different than many of us. Here’s why. We have bought the lie that we are what we do. We mistakenly believe several “Myths and Misconceptions about Manhood” that you can read about here.
First Two Questions Men Ask Each Other
Let’s take two men who are introduced at a party for example. I will bet my left arm that 9 out of 10 times these two questions will be asked within in the first minute: “What is your name? What do you do for a living?”
Men who understand who they are realize that who they are is not what they do, because what they do can change at any time. The man who understands who he is does not seek validation through performance because his identity comes from Jesus Christ and not from this world.
Stoughton writes, “Are there things you say or do to validate your worth because of how you feel about your inner or outer self?”
Jesus did not find his identity in what He did. Jesus was not known as a great carpenter. He never owned a home. He never traveled more that 50 miles from where he was born. He never got a college degree; yet more has been written about him than any man in history. He calls men to be more than fans. He calls them to follow him! Click here to read my notes on a message I gave from Luke 9:57-62 on the subject.
Boots on the Ground
Why do you do what you do? Are you a performance junkie simply because you do not know who you are and are addicted to validation? Does your job define you?
We are preparing to release an assessment to help you understand who you are and where you can grow. We’ve combined the Five Essentials Every Man Must Possess to Change His World from my new book, Strong Men Dangerous Times, with the 20 qualifications for spiritual leaders found in the Pastoral Epistles.
I believe that this project will be my life work. Take ten minutes this week and check out our “Sample Best Version Assessment” at bvoam.com and give us your feedback.
And remember, perform for an audience of One (Colossians 3:23).
Seeking His Best Version,
* Subscribe to the Men in the Arena Podcast and join men from 122 nations who are becoming their best version.
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