Why Wife is Greater Than Kids for the Christian Man


Bumper Stickers

A while back we made 100 controversial bumper stickers that we gave to men at our annual fundraising banquet. I proudly display mine on the back bumper of my Toyota Tundra but have never seen one besides my own. Maybe it is too controversial. Were they political? No. Were they extremist? No. Did they promote violence? Again, no.

What is so offensive about those bumper stickers? What did they say that was too controversial for Christian men to display them on their cars and trucks, you wonder?

                                                WIFE > KIDS

First Wedding

God performed the first wedding ceremony and pastors, standing in as God’s representative, have been standing in ever since. Remembering Adam and Eve’s ceremony (Genesis 2:24), Jesus said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason, a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man (or child) separate.”
- Matthew 19:4-6

I added the (or child) part!

By God’s standard, no human should ever take priority over the husband-wife relationship. In fact, your wife must be the most important person on the planet, regardless of whether this is your first, second, or third marriage.

Speaking of Third Marriages...       

I was training men’s ministry leaders to launch Men in the Arena teams in their church. At one point, I excused myself to go to the bathroom and returned to one man boasting, “I just told my third wife that my kids (from previous marriages) come first, and if she didn’t like it, she can hit the road.”

Interrupting, I demanded that he prove his opinion from the Bible.


I went on to explain the error of his reasoning, but I’m not sure if it ever sunk in. His Men in the Arena team, like his previous marriages, divorced soon after.

Bumper Stickers, the Sequel

That experience caught me off guard. If a group of Christian men’s ministry leaders doesn’t understand God’s priority of wife-is-greater-than-kids in Scripture, then who does?

At some point, we must draw a line in the sand and stand against the kids-greater-than-wife cultural lie and anything else that comes against the sacrament (sacred covenant) of marriage. Remember it was the Lord of the Universe who said, “What therefore God has joined together, let (no other human being) separate.”

If you are interested in more content surrounding marriage, check out our backlog of podcasts on marriage where we have a myriad of marriage resources available to you.

Oh, and let me know if we should do a reprint of those bumper stickers!