Objectively Identifying Your Soft Spots


Arena Men,

In 2019 a group of us embarked on our second annual Men in the Arena Death Ruck which took us 56 miles, 7,500 feet of vertical gain in just 36 hours. The Death Ruck will happen again this June 11-12 if you are interested in getting a little crazy with us.

Often overlooked in Ruck training is the feet, which must be strengthened by many miles. Untrained feet are soft, get hot spots, which lead to blisters and a miserable time. On the Ruck, the key is identifying these soft spots as they heat up and treating them before they blister. The worst things a Rucker can do is twofold: 1) poor training and 2) ignoring soft spots on the feet as they heat up.

When a guy gets a blister, it’s easy to tell by his limping and whining. The same is true with soft areas of life. Others usually see them, so we can either identify and fix the problem or keep limping and whining along. 

Refusing to acknowledge a weakness whether that be a sin, character flaw, or relational dysfunction, reminds me of the one John referred to in 1 John 1:10 when he wrote, “If we say that we have not sinned, we make Him a liar and His word is not in us.” 

You are Soft. I am soft. We are soft. Men in the Arena Podcast Episode 436 is one of our most popular episodes.  Responses varied greatly and clearly hit a nerve, which is why we revisited the topic with this week’s episode, You Are STILL Soft.

            This week’s episode helps men (and women) identify and rectify areas of softness. First, let’s explain what I mean by “Soft.” Soft equals weak. To be soft in any area is to be weak. Weakness and softness are synonymous and the way to combat weakness is with strength, which is why I wrote the Amazon #1 bestseller, Strong Men Dangerous Times identifying five essential areas that define masculine strength.

Observations from Episode 436. Here are some noteworthy bullet points from the episode.

-Identify. We are all soft.  It is a matter of evaluation and identification. We all have a weakness. We are all missing some mark.

-Denial. The podcast elicited emotion in men who were soft in at least one area but in denial.

-Conviction. Inner conviction elicits emotion often directed towards an external source. In Psychology this is called “projection.” Look inside yourself instead of projecting your convictions through anger. 

-Worldview. Those without a biblical (note I did not say “Christian”) worldview see through compartmentalized lenses and reject biblical truth.

-Wholistic (Holistic). Our view of weakness is based on a biblical or wholistic worldview from Luke 2:52, “And Jesus grew in wisdom (mentally) and stature (physically) and in favor with God (spiritually) and man (relationally).” 

-Integers. Fractured (fractions of men) are blind and easily offended instead of challenged to admit an area of softness, build a plan, and fix it becoming whole, complete, lacking nothing (James 1:14).

-Objectivity. Evaluate yourself with objective clarity. Whenever (subjective) emotion arises, we must discover the truth (objective) of our emotions. Your anger, offense and frustration are your responsibility. Own them.

Dialing it in for the Full Capacity Man. Identifying soft and strong spots.

Where Luke 2:52 offers a wholistic understanding of Jesus, Strong Men Dangerous Times narrows the focus even further with its five essentials. In June we will release The Full Capacity Man, which will break the five essentials into 20 subcategories enabling men to easily identify their strengths and weaknesses. Stay tuned.   

We just uploaded my newest book, Tell Them: What Great Fathers Tell Their Sons and Daughters including 200 “tell them’’ statements, Bible verses, and meditative images to help dads become their best version. When you see this book, you will not believe we are not selling it. It will be a cherished tool in your fathering arsenal.

Get it now before we change our mind!

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Becoming His Best Version,